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Remaining In Full Control
Do you know what one of the worst things you could possibly do wrong when trying to reconnect with your ex?
Let your emotions control your actions.
When we break up, it’s natural to feel so many different emotions that we’re left confused and overwhelmed.
One minute, we’re sobbing about what went wrong and willing to do just about anything to bring them back and the next, we’re angry and bitter, feeling as though they’ve unfairly abandoned us.
You have every right to feel the way that you do, but if you really want to rekindle your relationship, you need to keep your emotions in check, and only allow your ex to see the positive, strong side.
There will be plenty of time to discuss problems, console each other and work through the different issues in your relationship, but when you are trying to win them back, the only thing you want them to see is that you are hurting, but you are doing your best to get through it, while being as patient and understanding as possible.
Your ex will appreciate the fact that you aren’t lashing out, or trying to make their life miserable, but instead, that you are sorry for what went wrong and genuinely interested in fixing the problems.
Making First Contact
By now, you should have taken the time to evaluate your relationship, analyze your past problems and spent a couple of weeks working on yourself, both internally and externally.
It’s time to make first contact.
Keep in mind that understanding and honesty will be the two leading factors that will give you a boost in your ability to reconnect with your ex, and believe me, if you aren’t genuine, your ex WILL see right through it.
Not every initial conversation leads to a reunion, however, in many cases, it’s the first major step towards working things out.
This means that if the conversation doesn’t go the way that you’ve planned out (and envisioned in your head), don’t blow it by letting anger or emotion control the situation.
Instead, keep in mind that this first meeting is a way for your ex to feel you out, to see if your changes are genuine ones and if you are truly someone they can see themselves spending the rest of their life with.
When contacting your ex about possibly meeting, you need to remain calm and relaxed. Make sure that you choose a time to call your ex when they are likely alone, and available to talk.
Keep it SHORT and simple. You don’t want to get into any lengthy conversation over the phone because if you do, there will be little reason left for your ex to get together with to talk.
You want curiosity on your side when you make that call, and to provoke that curiosity into motivating your ex to agree to a face-to-face meeting.
Simply call your ex and ask him or her if they would be interested in going out for a simple date. Make sure you have it planned out before calling. You want to give an exact time and place when you call. Keep it VERY simple, a coffee date, a lunch or a single drink at a local pub.
If you call your ex and it goes to voice mail, do NOT leave a message. Instead, wait to call back at a time when you can speak with your ex directly.
If your ex answers the phone, simply ask her/him on a date and keep it short.
You want to build the momentum before the date having your ex think constantly anticipating meeting you again, and analyzing why you really called, so keep it short and on point.
If your ex declines your offer, do not get upset. All this really means is that more time is needed and you should simply thank your ex for considering and hang up the phone.
Whatever happens, never call more than once a day. You do NOT want to look desperate or appear overzealous. It’s likely that your ex still might need a bit of time to consider going out with you, or discussing your relationship at all.
If your ex does agree to meet with you, it’s time to prep yourself for that first date. You need to keep a few things in mind when you are with your ex, so that you can set yourself up for a second and third date, and eventually be on the road to total relationship recovery.
First of all, do not allow yourself to get overly emotional while on your date. You need to approach things as you would a first date with someone new.
The sole purpose of this first meeting is to simply spend time together to figure out whether the chemistry is still there, and if you both feel that it’s worth pursuing.
Keep things light and relaxed. Do not talk about what went wrong in the past. This is NOT the time to discuss past problems, or to try to get things back to where you believe they should be.
Take it slow, the last thing you want to do is appear desperate or to put too much pressure on your ex.
Moving Forward Together
You’ve done your job at rekindling your romance, and you want to focus on making it better than it ever was before. You deserve to be with someone who truly values you, appreciates you and loves you.
But your work is far from over, in fact, it’s only just begun.
You need to take your time rebuilding your relationship, and even though the temptation to speed ahead at full pace and get back to where you once were will be there, you NEED to take it one day at a time.
After all, you don’t want the same problems to arise and end up back to square one, so remember, genuinely strong relationships take time to progress, and depending on the initial reasons why you split up, it may take a bit longer to fully repair and heal your relationship, but in the end, it will be stronger than it ever was before.
