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Part 4: Communicating Clearly to Get What You Want

"You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere,"...Lee lacocca. lacocca was one of the better communicators of our time and what he said is certainly true in the world of communication.

It's not only words that set up clear communication - it's your appearance, tone-of-voice and being able to assess the person you're communicating with. For example, you don't communicate with a coworker the same as you would the CEO of your company.

How you communicate during the negotiation process is one of the factors that will determine if you leave the table getting what you want - or not. Keep in mind that you can't be too clear in your communications. You can bore the person, insult the person or talk over his head, but you can't be too clear.

Improving the clarity of your communication skills may take practice, but it is attainable. This section will show you how to hit the mark with what you say and to avoid saying the wrong thing. You'll learn how to organize your thoughts before the negotiation process and how to choose coherent words that express exactly what you want to convey.

Organizing Your Thoughts

Organizing the thoughts you'll need for the negotiation process is almost scientific in the way you proceed. You'll first need to clarify your point of the entire process. This is likely the main goal you've set, such as obtaining a raise. Then, explain why you should have the raise. This is simple logic.

Here are some ways you can organize your thoughts so they will be communicated clearly and accurately and without a lot of 'fodder' between the major points:

List your main points. Think through the main points of the negotiation process clearly and make them as logical as you can. Avoid fillers that just take time and veer away from the main thought.

Make it simple. At first, break down the negotiating points into simple language. You can always go back later and use more technical terms after you're sure the counterpart has a clear understanding of what you're saying.

Simplify numbers. If you have many numbers to present in the way of dollars, measurements or anything that requires numbers, simplify them if you can by presenting in graphs or charts.

Avoid jargon. Don't make your counterpart guess at what you're attempting to define. Spell it out exactly and avoid using technical words or words that are 'catch phrases' for the business.

Ask if you're being understood. It's perfectly alright during the negotiation process to pause and ask your counterpart if he or she understands or if you have been clear about what you're attempting to convey.

Being sure that your counterpart in the negotiation process understands what you're trying to say is imperative to successful communicating and organizing your thoughts is a good way to be sure that happens

Barriers and Distractions to Clear Communication

Most of the barriers for clear communication come from you. Distractions can occur at any time, but if you choose the time and location for the negotiation with care there will be less chance of those occurrences.

Here are some barriers and distractions that you should be aware of and take steps to eradicate before you sit down at the negotiation table:

Hurt Feelings - You may fear that if you express yourself clearly, you'll hurt the other person's feelings. Never avoid being clear because you fear confrontation, even if the words you have to use are bound to cause the other person distress. But, do be aware of the other person's feelings and let him or her express what they want to say by listening carefully.

Rejection - Rejection is another barrier to clear communication that you must overcome in order to communicate clearly. Even if you know that the information you deliver may cause a response that ends the negotiation process, you must be clear in your delivery and without fear of rejection.

Confusion - One of the worst results of poor communication is confusion on the part of your negotiating partner. Fallout from the result of confusion can damage all parts of the negotiation process and make it impossible to come back to the table and try again.

Interruptions - Don't interrupt the person who's speaking - ever. Wait until the speaker is finished and then ask him or her to clarify a point or tell him your interpretation of what he's trying to say.

Fatigue - If you're too tired to think clearly, try and reschedule the negotiation time or take a few moments to clear your head by drinking a caffeinated beverage or going on a walk to get some fresh air.

There are other barriers to a successful negotiation that can sabotage everything you've worked for. Depending on the type of negotiation you're working on, try to come up with several that fit your scenario and think of ways you can avoid them.

Exercises for Part 4 - Communicating Clearly to Get What You Want

Nobody wants to communicate poorly. It's extremely important in all aspects of the negotiation process for you to assess your communication skills and take steps to improve in areas where you lack assertion or the ability for clarity. Here are some things you may want to take into consideration:

1. Think about your communication personality. It may help if you ask a friend or family member for their assessment of your communication skills. If he says you ramble or interrupt, practice on those particular skills.

2. List the main points of an upcoming negotiation. For example, write down the exact thoughts you have about the subject of the negotiation. Then, go back and simplify the points by breaking it down into understandable parts.

3. Also, for an impending negotiation, write down what barriers or distractions you might encounter during the process. Think of the location of the negotiation and what you might do to limit distractions so that you can think more clearly.

4. Assess your own fears that could be barriers to clear communication. If you fear rejection, think of what could happen if you are rejected - for a job, a relationship, the house you want to purchase or anything that might initiate a rejection.

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After you’ve written down the bones of your speech, it’s time to go back for the next step which is polishing up what you’ve already written and making sure the transitions from one thought to the next are smooth and clear.

Most speakers (writers included) often assume that their audiences can follow our jumps from one subject to the next - change of thoughts, times or places. You’ll need to look at the transitions in your speech with an eagle’s eye and make sure you’ve clearly transitioned from one thought to another.

Transitioning should happen between the main points you’re making and also after the introduction (into the main body of the speech) and going into the conclusion. Your speech should be all-inclusive and not jump from one point to another without the clear transitioning.

To make a clear transition, you might use wording that includes an example that segues into the next thought or point. It’s important that you don’t lose your audience by confusing them about your subject.

A great speech isn’t written all at one time. It usually takes a few rounds of editing and reviewing before it’s ready to practice on the delivery portion.

The Cycle of Editing Your Speech

When you go over the first draft to make necessary changes, you’re “editing.” Then, you’ll revise your speech, which means that you’ll be implementing the changes you’ve made and finalizing the draft.

Writing down the bones of your speech lets you write down anything and everything that comes to mind about the subject. No editing is allowed in the first draft because it lets your creativity flow as it should - without pausing and possibly losing a great thought.

When editing, you should consider the vocabulary you’re implementing. Ask yourself if it’s the appropriate vocabulary for your audience. For example, will the wording be too basic or way over their heads.

Timing is everything. As you continue to edit and revise your speech, keep in mind your allotted time. If you come to a point where you wonder if you’ve hit the end mark or should keep writing, take some time to set the timer and read aloud what you already have. Be sure to pause for effect and not run rapidly through the speech.

Also, fine comb your speech by asking yourself if it makes sense. You may want to have another person look at the speech after you’ve done a bit of editing and revisions, but before you finalize it. It’s always good to have a different viewpoint.

What if You Get Writer’s Block?

It happens to the best of writers - you sit down with your pad and pencil or computer and your mind suddenly goes blank. No words come for minutes or even hours. It’s a traumatic time for any writer, but it’s natural and you shouldn’t panic.

People approach writer’s block in different ways. Some just continue writing. It could be just gibberish, but the act of keeping the pencil or keyboard hot can spur thoughts for some people.

With others, it helps to get some exercise or take a break to meditate for awhile. Having lunch with a friend or any number of things to get your mind off of the speech you’re writing can be effective to get back your inspiration and carry on.

The Best Ways to Practice Your Speech

Your speech writing is finished! Now, take as much time as you need to practice your speech before presenting it to your audience. There’s an old joke that goes, “How did you make it to Carnegie Hall?” Answer: “Practice!”

First, you’ll need to know how you’re going to present the speech you’ve prepared. Are you going to read it word for word, memorize the entire speech or use note cards or an outline for reminders?

Keep in mind that reading your speech verbatim can be boring to your audience. It’s true you’ll have the entire speech in front of you and won’t leave out anything by mistake, but you’re not really engaging with your audience when you’re reading the speech.

It may be difficult to memorize the speech, but it will give you an advantage of being sure you won’t leave out key points and can still appear relaxed and natural. Using notes while delivering your speech seems more unrehearsed and more real and accepting you’re your audience.

You choose what works best for you, but after you decide, pay attention to these key points of practicing and delivering your speech:

Practice the delivery of your speech in front of a mirror and with a recorder. No method can give you a truer picture of how you look and sound when you’re delivering a speech. This method is especially helpful if you’re not used to public speaking and are jittery about giving the speech.

Body language and other important details. No matter how well your speech is written and how much work and time you spent on it, the details of how you dress, enunciate your words and the effectiveness of your body language is an important part of how the audience accepts you as an expert.

Practice in front of others. Gather a group or a person to listen to your speech and give you feedback on how you did and their suggestions about how to improve the delivery (and the speech).

Smile! Be sincere and amusing in both the writing style and delivery of your speech. Your audience can immediately decipher if you’re happy to be speaking in front of them or would rather be anywhere else.

Practice eloquence in the delivery of your speech. It’s an art that the most popular and sought after speakers know and practice for every speech they give. Also, be the devil’s advocate and step back from the speech to determine if what you’ve said makes sense and if there’s any part of your delivery technique that needs to be honed.

Exercises for Chapter 4 - Editing and Practicing for Timing

Editing and securing the perfect timing for your speech are the final touches on the finished product. It’s important that you edit and revise until you consider the writing to be the best you can manage and that you practice the delivery of your speech until your nerves are calmed and you feel secure that you’ve got it right in every way.