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CHAPTER 7 - EXPOSURE TO UNCOMFORTABLE SENSATIONS AND SOCIAL SITUATIONS

Once we have a few of the strategies for developing greater self confidence down from our last chapter of our Guide the next big step is to start practicing what many therapists refer to as "Exposure Therapy".

This combination can be thought of as a kind of "one two" punch to knock out Social Anxiety disorder. For the majority of people nothing works better - and on top of that having a professional to help can be of some benefit, but it's far from a requirement. Real results up to a complete cure of Social Anxiety disorder aren't uncommon after Exposure Therapy. Exciting isn't it?

Before we get into some of the more common ways to use Exposure Therapy let's look at what it is exactly.

Exposure Therapy is easy to understand. It's taking the things that cause a person social anxiety and slowly exposing them to it. This act, done in very small doses at first slowly building up exposure as the person builds up their "social tolerance". Ideally, after some time the social anxiety will completely have disappeared. The time line can be short or long depending on the individual circumstance.

Here's two examples...

Exposure Therapy for Overcoming Fear of Social Situations.

This broad area covers a great deal of the experiences that most people with Social Anxiety disorder experience. The beginnings of this type of Exposure Therapy can be quite simple. A goal can be set to talk to a store clerk at first. After a few successes it can be amped up to talking to two or three strangers a day simply making small talk. Then attending a place known for social interaction like a party or night club. Perhaps later a plan can be set up and executed to host a party of your own. The important thing is to take as many small steps as necessary, not to rush things and to celebrate your successes!

Exposure Therapy for the Fear of Being the Center of Attention.

Being the center of attention is another very common manifestation of Social Anxiety disorder. This fear is often reacted to by a drive towards extreme introversion and often a total inability to speak or present oneself to even a small group of people. One of the first things you can do in Exposure Therapy for the fear of being the center of attention is to dress in something that attracts attention, that is flamboyant and flashy.

Getting up the confidence to do this and interact in the conversations that start is a great first start. Next as an exercise make a phone call in front of people and make a point of talking VERY loudly. Become the center of unwilling attention and continue talking anyway. After this join in on a conversation about a controversial subject. Finally play a sport or game with spectators watching. There is of course many substitutions that can be made depending on your own age, lifestyle, etc. The vitally important thing is to make it uncomfortable and scale your efforts up with time. This is the recipe for success over Social Anxiety disorder.

The more we get used to doing the things that cause our social anxiety disorder the less hold they have over us. Are you ready to start today?

CHAPTER 8 - NATURAL REMEDIES FOR SOCIAL ANXIETY

If you are familiar at all with the natural health movement you are probably aware that many ailments can be treated effectively without resorting to using potentially dangerous drugs and chemicals. Social Anxiety disorder is no different. Mainstream Doctors and therapists don't often share this information with their clients, but the truth is that there are natural remedies that can help not only make social anxiety more manageable, but even help cure it.

These shouldn't be considered stand alone measures, but when combined with the other methods shared here in our Guide they can be an absolutely huge help.

Results vary by individual and, of course, always be sure that you aren't allergic or ultra sensitive to any of the items below before taking full doses.

Natural Remedies for Social Anxiety

Kava.

A popular root native to the Pacific islands, Kava and Kava extracts are known to have a calming effect minus the problems associated with narcotics. Mild and non addictive Kava gives many people relief from social anxiety as well as other problems like insomnia. Use in moderation as tolerance is known to quickly build up with daily use.

B Vitamins.

B vitamins are probably the most popular and widely used remedy for social anxiety disorder. Supplementing with B vitamins has been shown in studies (and real world experience) to promote emotional calmness and stability. Often very high doses are used - a testament to B vitamins overall safety.

St Johns Wort.

St John's Wort is such a powerful treatment for anxiety and depression in some countries this herb is considered a prescription drug. St John's Wort should always be treated with respect and only sourced from reputable supplement companies as their has been reports of inferior products out on the market looking to cash in on its top notch reputation.

Potassium.

Potassium deficiency is known to aggravate anxiety and feelings of depression. Taking a potassium supplement or eating potassium rich foods (like bananas) can counter act this, This is especially important in hot climates or for those who are involved in athletic activities. Sweating can cause potassium depletion!

Oranges.

A healthy treat that natural health experts credit as an anti depressant. Some recommend adding a bit of organic honey and nutmeg to a glass of orange juice first thing in the morning. Many swear by it.
Almonds

Almond Milk and Almond Butter. Almonds are a healthy food that have been shown to have a natural calming effect. Versatile and easy to incorporate into a diet (as long as no nut allergies are present) almonds, almond milk and almond butter are all great options for the person combating Social Anxiety disorder.

Don't forget a solid healthy diet is a must when we are fighting Social Anxiety disorder. These remedies on top of it can truly speed up the healing process and give us more emotional freedom and freedom to act. A few good Guide books on diet and exercise can become almost as valuable to your progress as anything else. The old adage a "healthy body leads to a healthy mind" is not just some cliche. It's solid advice that should be taken to heart.

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Massage Services

If you're only interested in basic massage or becoming a nontherapeutic masseuse, you can learn many of the fundamental tenets of massage through books at the library or online.

First, research your state and city's requirements for a massage business. Many jurisdictions regulate massage therapy, but not simple massage. Once you know you're in the clear legally, start practicing on friends! It's important to develop what's called a "bedside manner," which is your conduct as you perform the massage. Your friends will usually be quite willing to help you practice, as well - who doesn't love a free massage? Once you feel you’ve got it down, you can start offering massages as a service, as long as you're careful to let people know that you're a masseuse, not a massage therapist.

If you want to become a massage therapist, there are different requirements. Massage therapists help millions of people with pain management, recovery from injuries and more. It's a lucrative job for patient, empathetic people who thrive on healing others.

In order to become a qualified massage therapist, you'll need to attend a formal school and learn not only the art of massage, but human anatomy and medical training. Many massage therapists specialize in fields like sports massage, clinical massage, reflexology and Reiki.

Moving Service

There are a lot of things to be said about moving (most of them unrepeatable in polite company) but this at least is true: You really know who your friends are on moving day. You can be that friend to a lot of people!

If you have a strong back, great customer service and a desire to help people, consider opening a home-based business in professional moving. There is always demand for movers - people love to hire other folks to do their heavy lifting.

When you're first starting out, leave long-distance moving to big companies. You should focus on in-town moves, because many of those customers will start the job, thinking they can finish it themselves, then decide to hire a professional mover. Also, you can zero in on apartment moving or college students to keep it really small (and have some income) while you build up a reputation for yourself.

You may need to incorporate a moving service with someone else, as many large items can't be moved with just one person. You can start by contracting temporary labor if you want to run the moving service yourself, but long-term, you're going to encounter enough California King-size beds and pianos that you'll want someone full-time to give you a helping hand.

Personal Concierge Services

If you're a highly efficient, organized, Type-A kind of person, you might have great success with a home-based business in personal concierge services.

The concept of this business is simple: People want things done but don't have the time to do it themselves. A personal concierge is someone who makes things happen for extraordinarily busy people like executives of companies or celebrities. Your job is to make things happen when someone needs to them happen, to provide things when people want them, and accomplish your mission, no matter how customized or strange it may seem, with a personal touch and class, to boot. If that sounds difficult, it's because it is! But personal concierges are consistently facing new challenges with every day and feel very rewarded by being part of a team that's accomplishing big things.

There's no real way to prepare yourself to be a personal concierge except to get out and do it; for that reason, it may be difficult to establish yourself without offering your services at a discount to begin with.

However, this is a world where networking is more valuable than anything else - once you've got a satisfied customer willing to give you a referral, it's much easier to find another executive or VIP to work for. You can also consider joining the National Association of Professional Organizers for networking, directory listings and continuing education as a professional concierge.

Personal Training

Some folks need a little extra help learning to diet and exercise, and others are serious about a fitness lifestyle, but are looking for an expert's advice. In either case, they go to a personal trainer.

Are you passionate about fitness, and love to help people? If so, this might be the right business for you. It's a quickly growing profession in America because of its many perks - flexible hours, doing what you're passionate about, and inspiring people to be their best. There's a lot of satisfaction to be had from helping someone achieve their maximum potential.

As a personal trainer, you'll be responsible for educating people about fitness and motivation. Of course, you have to be proficient in this yourself, so it's important that you be in the best shape you can be. You'll also need to have a good understanding of human anatomy so that you don't injure your potential clients. Lastly, you need to have good leadership skills, because when you're training someone, you're essentially forming a team with them and leading them toward their goals. If you want a client to stick with you, you'll need to care for them, inspire them and gain their trust - after all, you'll be traveling through very painful, intense personal territory with them, and they need to know that you know the way, and have their best interests in mind.

Pet Sitting Service

This is a business that requires almost no startup capital. The only thing you need are some basic credentials to get started - you should own a pet and it helps to have a little experience with pets (for instance, a background in a veterinary clinic.)

Pet sitting is a fairly simple proposition - you watch other folks' pets while they're not able to care for them. If you're watching dogs (the most common) you'll need to feed them, play with them and walk them on a regular basis.

This is a bit counterintuitive, but there's some paperwork involved:

Be sure to protect yourself with signed contracts every time you agree to watch someone's pet. You'll want to give owners a "report card" when they come back as well, detailing the activities you performed with the animals. Also, if pets need any medications or other special care, you'll have to have a way to record when you administered that to them.

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Chapter 4: Choosing the right time — definitely not valentine’s day/his or her birthday

Synopsis

Choosing the right time to raise an issue on a breakup with your partner is an ideal move to let the relationship end smoothly.

Choosing the right time meaning does not include breaking up on Valentine’s Day, his/her birthday, holiday seasons, etc.

Occasions such as when your partner is having an upcoming exam, interviews, at work, etc. are also not the right time to initiate a break up..

Choose the Right Time: Why Avoid Special Occasions and Holidays

It will be hard for your partner to recover. If you put yourself in your partner’s shoes, consider how you would feel when you experience the same heartbreak every year just because your partner breaks up with you on your birthday or Valentine’s Day.

It will bring back the bad memories.

All that is left is emptiness and loneliness. If your partner loves you more than, he/she will feel a sense of belonging and connection to you. If you choose to leave him/her on holiday seasons like Christmas, you left him/her feeling alone every holiday, especially because after breaking up you will no longer be with him/her anymore.

It affects your partner’s emotions during his/her life-changing moments. These big moments could be your partner’s interview, work promotions, upcoming exam, a death or sickness in his/her family, etc. Do not be mean; bear with your partner for a longer period until these moments are over.

Care for him/her at least for this duration one last time.

You may get a negative response from your request about the break up. Either you choose to breakup before or during these occasions or you wait for a suitable time to do so, and even then your partner may object to your request, or act aggressively, yell, cry loudly or more. This may contribute to you feeling guilty and choosing not to leave.

Chapter 5: Keep it short & simple - never argue/prolong discussion

Synopsis

Since you had made a decision to breakup with your partner, mean it. Be sure that your relationship will end forever. Yon must keep it short and simple when you want to breakup with your partner to avoid causing greater pain or giving hints that both of you will come back together.

Keep It Short

Be prepared. Prepare earlier, what to say when you ask for a breakup. Prepare yourself emotionally. Your partner may question you, as to why you want a breakup, so be prepared with answers, before you raise the issue. This will help you to make a smoother breakup.

Be confident when you speak out. Try not to stammer or seem submissive to your partner. Showing confidence with the way you speak and your body languages will give hints to your partner that you insist with the decision and you want him/her to get your message.

Do not explain too much and engage in a prolong discussion. Speak straight of what is in your mind. You do not need to tell the whole story about how you come to this decision. Make sure your message is well understood and that you did not mean to hurt your partner deeply. Focus on why it is not working for you instead of blaming your partner for his/her wrongs.

Avoid intimate physical contact. This breakup is to end the relationship, so stop yourself from touching your partner again, including holding hands. Intimate physical body contact may give your partner comforts, which makes it harder for him/her to let you go.

Respect your partner. It is pointless to argue or fight at this stage as this will hurt the feelings of both parties, or even cause greater pain for your partner. Be understanding, no matter how your partner reacts. Be calm and control your emotions.

Chapter 6: Stick with your decision

Synopsis

It can be hard to leave someone, whom you loved so dearly for so long. There are so many things to consider before making this decision to breakup with your partner. No matter the reasons that brings you to this decision, you should consider avoiding a messy breakup. Here are some tips on sticking with your decision.

Stick With It

Plan your breakup. As always, prepare and plan it properly. Consider the time needed for the breakup. Fully understand what you are trying to say and make sure you choose the right words to say it as this will help to avoid your partner questioning you. Also, be prepared mentally and emotionally- you must understand there may be arguments. Remain calm when you speak of your mind.

Give a good explanation. Express your feelings in a proper way and explain what makes you feel that way. If you keep the real purpose of breaking up to yourself, your partner may misunderstand you and get upset for wrong reasons. Let your partner know that this is not a sudden decision and let him/her knows what leads you to make this decision.

Get support. This is a great way to distract you from wanting to get back to your partner. Get support from the socializing network you are involved in, your family, relatives and friends, or even people who share their experiences on heartbreaks and breakups. You may even get relationship experts or counsellors to help you stick with your decision.

Keep focus. You will feel the pain, grieve, sadness of breaking up, and you should not hide the negative feelings. These feelings make you doubt your decision sometimes. Therefore, you must understand that you had made the decision to break up, and that you should move on with life and let those feelings fade away.

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chapter 6: OF A Offers To- Avoids

Cost Per Action offers can be an excellent way to make money online, but amid all of the legitimate opportunities, there exists some sites and companies which should be avoided.

Like any business, choosing which advertisers to pair with can be incredibly important and making sure that you avoid the scam-orientated offers is one of the most important ways in which you can keep your revenue high.

As with any industry, making poor choices when it comes to offers can denigrate your business; it can turn off potential readers/clickers and can cost you money and potential profits from alternative, legitimate cost per action offers. But choosing which offers to avoid is not that simple.

There is not always just one master list which you can consult and check companies and offers to ensure their legitimacy. Indeed, I choose to follow several simple steps in order to better acquaint myself with the offers involved, making sure that I keep my profits and my revenues high, as well as my site viewers happy, by subscribing to some simple rules.

When considering new offers, check them against these potential warning flags. They are not set in concrete and common sense and judgement is always advised, but it can never hurt to know too much.

Stick With What You Know

One of the best (and most obvious) ways in which you can avoid falling for bad offers is to stick to those that you know to be tried and tested. While it may seem like the most obvious thing in the world, offers which have either proved to be a hit or have made you money are an excellent reference point.

Therefore, when looking to branch out, consider alternatives or expansions for those that you know and trust. Forming good working relationships with a number of the better and more trustworthy companies can ensure that you will be able to have access to new and interesting chances, allowing you to make new money with fresh content that you can trust.

This also puts you in a better negotiating position when it comes to commission; rather than relying on untested and possibly untrustworthy sources, building a better relationship with those you trust is a fantastic way of never having to turn to possibly bad CPA offers.

Find Trustworthy Advice

For those who are just starting out in the CPA offers game, finding trustworthy offers can be difficult, while learning which offers to avoid can be even tougher. Thankfully, there are a number of communities, across a number of platforms which offer guidance and support for those just starting out.

When taking your first steps into the online marketing world, finding a knowledgeable and trustworthy community can be a tremendous boon. With the help of those who have walked down this familiar path before, you can quickly be told (without necessarily knowing) if a company is best avoiding.

In these instances, before you have a solid grasp of who and what to avoid, it might help to become and involved member of the community, allowing you to run potential offers past more experienced members.

This is a fantastic way to get started on the right foot, allowing you to refine your knowledge without making a cataclysmic mistake. I try to become involved with as many new starters as possible, thanks to my own experience starting out.

You should remember that when you become a roaring success: giving back to the community can help others in a similar position.
If It Looks Too Good...

Perhaps the most important rule relies on you having followed the previous two steps first. When you have set yourself up in online marketing, and made moves towards finding trustworthy clients, you can start to realise which rates are standard among the industry and get a rough idea of the amount of commission you should be earning per action.

As such, when an offer comes along which appears too good to be true, it probably is.

If a strange new company is offering a ridiculous rate or product, then -as you become more attuned to the industry - you can readily recognise that this might not be as legitimate as it wishes to appear.

Over time, this sense will become more and more refined, allowing you to determine which offers are best suited to you, especially when used in conjunction with the first two points.

Chapter 7: Where Else Can You Promote CPA Offers?

Advertising CPA offers on your website or your blog is a great place to start.

I have been getting great results by sharing information about CPA offers on my own pages as well as through my email list but there are other methods that can be used to draw attention to CPA offers and generate responses from a wider audience.
Using Advertising Links

I have been using advertising links that lead directly to the CPA offer to reach out to a wider audience. I see using advertising links as a good way to reach out to Internet users who are interested in a specific offer rather than users who are always on the lookout for good deals.

Users who constantly hunt for good deals are likely to subscribe to my email list or to visit my site regularly but advertising links allow me to reach out to Internet users who are shopping for a specific product.

I use many sites and PPC services to share advertising links. The sites or services I use entirely depend on the audience I am trying to reach out to.

I have actually been organizing my CPA offers into categories that reflect the kind of audience that would be interested in the advertising links so I can choose the best site or PPC service for my links.

Choosing the best sites or PPC services for each CPA offer has become easier as I am getting more experience and can learn from the results I get with each advertising link.

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Chapter 4: Always listen to your gut — when felt something is wrong

Synopsis

Listening to your gut or trusting your instincts always present the most truths about you and your partner. Listening to your gut is being honest with yourself. Especially when you fell something going wrong, your instincts tells you what to do and how to resolve the matter in the most natural way. Over thinking sometimes may show doubts in your statements or your actions, which leads to suspicions, distrust, and misunderstandings.

Always Listen

Do not deny your feelings. Preferring to solve problems in a particular way, may be because of the gut feeling. You find it suspicious that your partner comes home late every night, and so think that he/she might be cheating on you. Asking if you really want to get the answers to such a question and trusting the answers requires gut feeling. After some time if you are trying to hide the matter, you may find yourself doubting your partner and misunderstandings occur. Therefore, go with your gut to prevent all mishaps.

Avoid over thinking. Do not think too much or analyse too much when you feel something is wrong. Over thinking may draw away your attention on the positive feelings, generating more negative feelings and emotions. Because of this, you may have to undergo unnecessary stress and this ruins your relationship.

Speak out. If you are concerned about something, stand up and say something about it. Speaking out there and then helps to lessen the rising doubts. Talk or discuss the matter with your partner. Explain your feelings or reasons why you reacted the way you did. Try to understand your gut feelings and express them in the right way. Listening to your guts and going with it is important, however, do express them in a way that you will not hurt your partner. Avoid over thinking, and consider if your reaction may or may not hurt your relationship, and most importantly, your partner’s feelings.

Chapter 5: Don’t be possessive

Synopsis

Possessiveness is usually caused by the fear or doubts towards your partner that you have in your heart; it could also be due to your previous unsuccessful relationships. Being possessive over your partner will cause a burden to your partner, and there hence, causing harm to your relationship. Always respect yours and your partner personal boundaries. Here are some tips on how to avoid being a possessive partner:

Posessiveness

Give your partner some space. Respect your partner’s personal space. There is a need to understand your partner’s daily routines, working life, etc, but not every little detail about it. Avoid asking too much and interfering with the way your partner handles his/her life. Arrange or schedule together time properly so that you can limit yourself from forcing him/her to connect with you too often.

Give your partner options. Give him/her a chance to make choices in daily routines. Do not decide for everything - understand that your partner may make different decisions too. Besides this, let him/her have a chance to carry out hobbies and interests. This would make your partner feel that you want the best for him/her.

Pamper yourself. Spend some time for yourself. Visit your family and friends, go shopping, or socialize by carrying out some sports activities with others; you may also praise yourself sometimes for what you have accomplished. By pampering yourself, you can avoid being too dependent on your partner, which may help you to be more confident and less possessive over your partner.

Work on establishing your individual identity. You would most probably be concerned and think for your partner most of the time. It is time to focus on your own true desires and interests, which you may have forgotten when you live with your partner. Carry out your interests and build your self-confidence up again.

Chapter 6: Breakup makes you stronger

Synopsis

Breakup makes you stronger. Breakup gives you the experience on how you can and should handle love. A failed relationship may motivate you to search for a better partner or improve yourself to handle love better. The followings are some reasons why breakup makes you stronger.

Great Info

You will have a clearer vision for your choices. You will be more serious in choosing a better partner. After a breakup, you will see clearly what you really want, and what to expect from your future partner. You will be more certain and stand for whatever you feel is right for your life, which makes you stronger and more confident.

You will be more aware of yourself. You will be more cautious with your actions. You will know what to do or what to avoid in the next relationship. You will also work it right, like improving yourself, which creates a better you.

You know you have gone through a painful relationship. Therefore, you will know how to deal with the stress and heartbreak if your new relationship fails again. This is especially if your previous relationship is your first love, after the breakup, you will get very upset about it, you will feel miserable, empty, hopeless, etc. nevertheless, when you are able to pick yourself up well and move on with another relationship, you will be a better person in the new relationship.

To recover from a previous failed relationship, you may distract yourself with other commitments, for instance, you may work harder than before, you would get counselling sessions, or you would be more focused on religion. These help build your self-confidence and make you stronger. Perhaps you will get better job offers, you will share your stories to help others who seek help in relationships, or you improve yourself spiritually, which helps you to maintain a healthy mental, emotional balance.

Chapter 7: Reacting to breakup

Synopsis

Breakup means losing your partner, and it can be a terrible thing for you if you still have some moments when you cannot forget him/her. This is especially when you loved him/her so much before, you must consider good ways to react to the breakup, improve yourself, look for a new partner, or help others.

Reacting

Get some space away from your ex. Tell him/her nicely that you are already out of this relationship and prefer him/her to leave you alone. Avoid accepting phone calls, text messages from your ex, or replying his/her emails. This helps you to clear your thoughts and being able to move on with your current partner.

Schedule some activities with your friends. This is a good way of keeping yourself busy and a good way to temporary keep negative emotions away. Hang out with your own friends. Spend more time with your current partner. Avoiding the ex and the mutual friends, if you find it hard not to think of your ex at that moment.

Change your environment. Put on light, classical or jazz music at home and relax in it. These gives you a calming effect which also makes him/her, into a more sentimental person, allowing yourself to express your feelings, cry over it, but cease to think about it later. On the other hand, go travelling or relocate yourself in another place, it helps you in recovering.

Do not over react towards this breakup. Do not do something stupid just because you are temporary upset. Do not do things that cause harm to yourself, or you current partner.

Find ways to heal your heartbreak. Express your thoughts through writing or painting. Read articles. Read articles written by others’ who share their experiences could help. Read motivation books and get inspired. You may also write about your heartbreaks and share it online to help others.