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Chapter 9

Don’t Define Yourself By Mistakes

Synopsis

There is no need for you to live a life full of shame and regret and guilt. You must never make your mistakes define you. You are more than that poor response, that bad choice, that one rebellious moment than all or any of the mistakes and failures that you had – present, past, or in the future.

You are Not Your Mistakes

As a human, you are always bound to make mistakes – whether in your personal life, your marriage, your work, your family. Everyone will make mistake, a wrong choice at a certain point in your life. All mistakes that you make should be the source of your strength. These mistakes must be the lessons that you learn in your life. Grow from them. Be better because of them. Make the necessary amendments and continue with your life. You should not cling or dwell on your mistakes for the rest of your remaining years on this earth.

All people have a path to follow. All people have choices that decide the path where they should go down. Once you make a mistake, just say sorry. Fix your mistake if possible and vow that you will do better in the future. It will help change the path you are taking, giving you the chance to become a better person.

Use your mistakes not just for making yourself better but also for teaching your children and other people around you to avoid making a similar mistake.

It is completely shameful to hold your mistakes over others, use it against them or blackmail them. Every now and then, you will make mistakes and holding it over another person’s head is yet another mistake. In the same way that God forgives, everyone should too. You have to let go of things. You have to let people amend or change their mistakes, turn things into a better direction and not continuously beat them up for them.

Never allow your mistakes to pull you down. Don’t define yourself by the mistakes that you made. Keep your head up. Pick yourself up. Acknowledge the wrongs that you have done. Learn from the mistakes you made and become a better version of yourself. Give the people around you with the same benefit of the doubt and understand that just like you, they also make mistakes but just like you, they can also get past these things.

Forgiveness is always the key. Forgive others. Forgive yourself. Move on.

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Fasted cardio basically means that you’re running at a point when you have very low blood sugar. You can do this either by having a day of eating very little or by going running first thing in the morning when you wake up (when we sleep, we don’t eat – thus we are fasted!). This works a little like HIIT in that your blood sugar is low and this forces the body to burn fat and utilize glycogen. It also increases your cortisol a lot, as well as your myostatin so use with caution. But if you’re really keen to lose weight fast, it might be worth a try!

Running Off Road

Another tip is to try running off road. One great way to do this is to run against resistance which can mean running through sand or running through relatively shallow water (such as the sea). This is a great way to increase the challenge and it causes the muscles to work harder. That in turn makes it into something that’s known as ‘resistance cardio’ – a fantastic form of cardio that actually burns more calories while also preserving your muscle.

This is one of the great examples of what you can do for yourself when you start running in nature and again start returning to your roots a little. As we’ve already seen, we were born to run and this is how we would have done it!

When you really go off road running, then you’ll be in the territory of what is known as ‘trail running’. Trail running means that you’re running through forests and along rocks and it’s much closer to what our ancestors did. The great thing about this is that it requires more awareness, more alertness and challenges the body in a lot more ways. In particular, it utilizes a lot of muscles as you have to constantly stabilize yourself against rocks and roots and other things that might cause you to trip or slip.

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I believe that a lot of us are equipped with an instinct to form excuses and reasons as to why we shouldn't tackle a challenge, or make a significant (or small) change. Meanwhile, the truth is that sometimes you rational mind doeshave a point.

At the same time, you should be consciously aware of your comfort zone and howrooted you become with it. The more you immerse yourself within it, the harder it can be to get out.

Think about it this way: sometimes you might be comfortable, and then all of a sudden an opportunity comes along. Your first instinct may push you to decline the opportunity, whatever it may be, and remain in a state of constant knowing and comfort. Taking an intelligent “risk” when the timing is right can end up transforming your life from ordinary to far more fulfilling.

Taking a step forward, or a risk, can be a positive movement towards growing as a person, and also coping with the otherkind of stress –the badkind. Now, if you're going through this course, then I'm sure that may be why you're here. Dealing with the bad stress, the kind you could definitely do without in your life.

I'm not going to bore you or waste your time by listing off reasons or situations that can generate bad stress. Mainly because I'm certain you KNOW what stresses you out and creates that feeling of overwhelm in your life. Just thinking about the topics and things that are weighing over you can cause your mind to escalate the situation. This, in turn, makes coming up with a solution AND dealing with the stress effectively far more difficult.

Now that I've given you this overview of good and bad stress, let's just dive right into the topic of breathing to relieve the stress.

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However, it's realistic to avoid, or even just reduce the harmful forms of psychological stress, such as worries, anxieties, depression, fears, and agitation as well as the damaging physiological reactions, such as increased heart rate, higher blood pressure, weakened immune system, muscular tension, and so on. It's really no surprise that stress can also influence us to behave destructively or drastically. It should be stated though, that in coping with stress, we should aim to avoid ineffective or self-defeating approaches, including the overindulgence in smoking, alcohol and the abuse of drugs. These temporary “solutions” not only fail to relieve stress, but can also result in damage both physically, emotionally, and mentally. Not to mention the damage that can be done to relationships and your job as well.

Heading down that path can result in addictions and things spiraling out of control. Another common approach to controlling stress is through the use of what's known as “psychotropic” medication which is prescribed by physicians.

On the other hand, there's also behavioral and psycho-therapeutic techniques that work wonders as well. With most people, these kinds of treatments can be proven effective. But they definitely involve the person to be participating in their own recovery in order to be successful. However, if the person's stress is severe, then medical consultation could also be recommended.

Any knowledgeable physician will treat their patients with the most effective drug that has the fewest side effects based on that patient's particular medical history. They will then follow up with the patient's progress diligently, which I'm sure you're familiar with. They may even reduce the dosage or eliminate the medication entirely when the stress is at a more maintainable level.

You, as the patient, in this scenario, should not hesitate to ask questions of the psychiatrist about the different medications and their side effects. Sometimes, psychotherapy could even be suggested as treatment for more effective and longer lasting progress.

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You don't have to be a fighter to fight back and alleviate the stress in your life. That's why in this section, I'm going to cover 15 essential and very practical tips for combating stress in your life, no matter who you are or where you are. So follow along closely!

1. Smile More, Express Emotions, andBe Happy

We all have something in life that makes us laugh, or makes us smile. Maybe it's a friend that we know, a TV show that we watch, or anything else. These kinds of things bring joy to our lives.

It's been proven that laughter AND smiling both release endorphins and other chemicals in your brain and body that help to elevate your mood and boost your immune system as well.
Make it a point to laugh, smile, express amusement, and just try to find enjoyment in life, as often as you can. Even when things aren't looking up at the moment.

2. Take Control of Time and Start Planning

It could almost go without saying that you'll be able to deal with certain kinds of stress if you have a better grip on your work and the tasks you have to do. Whether itsrelationships, your job, or other activities in life –when you're in control, you're far more likely to stay focused and more collected. Plan your time wisely and always remember to compensate for the unexpected, which we all know happens from time to time.